Just A Minute

On 28 April 2017 at 17:06 "Mark sirnylon@... [just-a-minute]" <just-a-minute@...> wrote:

 

Hi, Jammers

Wired recently published an article about intelligent audio auto-transcribers.

Thinking of Dean's enduring toil decoding JAM episodes, I wondered if Trint were the solution.

I took up their free 30 minute transcription offer and fed it the latest episode,

JAM-2017-03-27@891,S77E06=The Tube.mp3

Here is what it produced.

Make of it what you will, keeping in mind it is a beta app... it does not deal well with background noise (such as audience applause) but it's better than I thought it would be.

Even if it calls Julian Clary "Junior Clear".

It might at least be a starting point for Dean.

Regards,

Mark

JAM-2017-03-27@891,S77E06=The Tube.mp3

Welcome to just a minute. 

00:00:00

These walls fades away once more it's my huge pleasure to welcome our many listeners not only in this country but around the world. And to welcome to the program for exciting dynamic personalities. We're going to try and speak for just a minute on the subject. I give them and they try and do that without hesitation repetition or deviation. And they are seated on my right Paul Merton and Junior clear and so it is on my left Marcus brigstocke and Al Murray please welcome all four of them. Time. 

00:00:14

For you to blow the whistle when the 60 seconds have elapsed and we're going to begin the show this week with Marcus brigstocke who bet Marcus that you can tell us something about that subject in this game. 

00:00:49

Starting now the tube also known as the underground is a place where Londoners assemble in the morning and play a game called guess what I had for dinner last night. Breathe on each other and try and estimate whether it was cheerly baked potato or shepherd's pie. It's a lovely thing to do and it passes the Morning now. I've never been lucky enough to see anyone fail to mind the gap. But I live in hope. It would be tremendous to watch somebody slip down the side of the train while we all giggle over the tallied so you are not brutal. 

00:01:03

But I just think it would be an entertaining way to start the morning genuine challenge to mornings to morrow. In fact you miss the first time. I think they were also being kind in fairness. So Jenny correct challenge which means you'll get a point for that and you take over the subject of the tube and there are 22 seconds available starting now. 

00:01:38

There's always a secret fart on the cheek. We sit creeping down the carriage sign no. If they're in the pinstripe suit can't be do with small markers challenge Yeah deviation. 

00:02:01

You said this is secret far too but you know who it is. 

00:02:16

Pinstripes sign like the Miss Marple of the Northern Line. 

00:02:20

Unsolved Murders. I'm on jargons you start somewhere. 

00:02:24

Listen I'm going to be fair to you Jenny because she said a secret farter and he may have thought he was being secretive about it. Jenny had spotted it. 

00:02:29

And. Spotted it. He's home. He may have. Been. Technically that's no longer a blow off. But technically he was under the impression that he was a secret forger. Yes. And. No. But the. Intention was it's not you it's. 

00:02:40

An incorrect challenge. And Jenny. Another point to you and the 90 second still available the tube starting now. 

00:03:07

Oh no not all over my best trousers said that man. 

00:03:15

Challenge man she said man again the man in the pinstripe suit. Honestly. 

00:03:22

I never thought because I been in showbusiness so long that we'd ever on BBC talk about fart. 

00:03:30

Amazing what you can say these days isn't it. Pushing back the boundary. And we pushed him in the wrong direction. So it's like an air strike. 

00:03:39

It's a it's a very acceptable word a bit descriptive. Yeah. And I'm glad you enjoy the show because you've. 

00:03:54

It's good to be a problem for the editor because there are rules about how many farts you're allowed on radio. A lot of them are taken up on the moral maze. You 

00:04:02

challenge first is force still available. Tell us something about the Tube starting now. 

00:04:17

I live near the District Line which is a daily lottery will there be. 

00:04:22

Speaking of the of when again that extra point. And it's also his turn to begin the subject now is spam. 

00:04:30

I'm old enough to have a TV and on it. 

00:04:38

So he will tell us something about spam starting now spam is an ancient foodstuff from before the dawn of time. 

00:04:41

Mystery meat. 

00:04:47

MARGOT of challenge. Yes. There was hesitation. Yes indeed. So Mark as a point you were correct challenge 54 seconds available. Tell us something about spam starting now. 

00:04:52

My inbox is full of spam and I dont know how they managed to get the tins down my broadband connection. Be. Honest with you. In any case it's disgusting and I've got spam filters in place to stop the stuff from getting through. I was very lucky to be cast as King Arthur in the role of king. 

00:05:02

One of the reasons why you got the job. I remember his name. Why don't. 

00:05:23

You challenge first to King Arthur as we were talking. There's repetition. I have to ask you in case you come up with something different. Yeah right. Okay. And then there are 35 second still available. Tell us something about spam. Starting now. 

00:05:29

I saw Marcus in that production of spamalot Playing the role of King Arthurs and he was fantastic. 

00:05:42

MARK challenge yeah. No it was the wrong challenge. It was repetition of King Arthur but then I remembered I'd said it. 

00:05:48

To. 

00:05:59

Be fair it all sound familiar as you did all in the musical was advertised so long. King Arthur does sound familiar. 

00:05:59

A great challenge you have another point and you have 30 seconds available still if you needed for spam starting now. 

00:06:06

I too have received unsolicited emails from people trying to convince me to take on their financial woes often people from Africa right. 

00:06:14

Marguerite repetition of people too many people and 21 seconds are still available mark as spam starting now. 

00:06:24

Well it is absolutely yummy. If you turn it into a fritter that's what we were told at school and it was a massive lie. It didn't matter how much sauce you dawdle over that stuff. As soon as you cut into it you knew exactly what it was. Revolting pink slimy goop winking up at you knowing that a moment you put it in your mouth you are probably going to. 

00:06:31

So Mark speaking as it was a way in gain that extra point. Marcus I have to tell you as someone who was in his teens during the war and we had very severe rations when we found spam which came in from America we found it delicious because we were so short of nourishing food. So I must've found it on the ground. Not quite right. And soon the polan was defeated. 

00:06:57

Paul you're incorrigible. 

00:07:22

But I love it. Right. Jennifer clears your term a dog's dinner. Could it be Spam. Couldn't get to. 60 seconds if you needed sardou. 

00:07:25

Now sometimes I look at those adverts for dogs dinners on the telly chunky chunks of lamb or rabbit in rich gravy and I think a bit of pastry on the top and the old man I'd love that far from this stick. Have you ever opened a tin of this stuff. Poo. Every cat a dog's dinner requires at least four Jo Malone candles which are fabulous. So get rid of this stench. I tell you what though. I was once described as a dog's dinner in one of those dreadful female gossip magazines. I dressed up to go to the enties thought I was challenging channelling even in a challenge. 

00:07:33

Fortunately a hesitation yes because she corrected herself and it made it sound like a hesitation poor benefit of the doubt on that one 21 seconds are available. You tell us something about a dog's dinner starting now. 

00:08:16

There was one time when I was living with a dog and his name was Oliver. It was rather charming creature a collie I believe was the breed and he would love to eat dinner rapidly and fast which I believe is what most dogs do. One day there was a ring at the doorbell Wally was it needs food and he tried to run up the stairs and eat food at the same time as his. 

00:08:27

Eat. Mark as your challenge first. Yeah repetition of a dog sitting at the dog's owner as the subject of the card. Eat no food. Yeah food. 

00:08:48

I've been kind of mark as I think you knew what this young lady lives on. So there are three seconds for you Mark. As long as dogs are starting now it's very easy when you make a challenge to make a complete. 

00:08:59

Speakers are aware and gain an extra point for doing so. And he's taken the lead at the end of that round one end of money to weigh. It's your turn to begin. The subject is Murphy's Law. Tell us something about that subject in this game starting now. 

00:09:17

Murphy's Law I believe was a film starring Peter o'toole Round about 1969 it came out when I was at school Murphy's Law also means that if something will go wrong or can actually not be the thing you wanted to happen. 

00:09:34

More likely it will accept a teacher. It's a bit more concise than that. 

00:09:48

Law. He was the policeman at every New York cop respected Murphy said Broadways my patch although he didn't have an Irish accent. He was a proud American policeman. He would march up and down saying to people on his page listen to. 

00:09:53

Kenny you were listening. Well a couple of patches. Yeah well yes and well and so Jenny you get a point for a great challenge. There are 26 seconds still available. You tell us something about Murphy's Law starting now. 

00:10:10

Murphy's Law is named after an ancestor Jude Law an ugly fella who spent all of his life falling down manholes off mountains into rivers. No luck whatsoever. Which is why this law has been. 

00:10:22

Chan was a slight hesitation and yes that you wanted to die. 

00:10:39

Because she was going to the realms of the real and couldn't go any further. Who could see it on your face. But when you got in first appointer you of course Murphy's Law. Eight seconds starting now. If you go to court in Ireland I will still likely challenge my Irish accent from earlier Irish than I wish. 

00:10:45

Policeman yours. I will show you. Oh gosh. Listen. 

00:11:05

May be a novice at the game but you are sharp. 

00:11:12

Five seconds ago. 

00:11:16

Tell us something about Murphy's Law starting now. 

00:11:17

Murphy's law also known as Sod's law is an iron rule which tells us that. 

00:11:20

Our Mari was speaking as a whistle when the next to point and he's in the lead at the end of that. You certainly have the audience with you. Marcus brigstocke. It's your turn to begin a favourite book. Tell us something about that subject in this game starting now. 

00:11:32

My favourite book is rather a challenging read because it's a colouring book. And so it's taken a very long time to finish it and I've run out of crayons and that's part of the problem. The original title was One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. 

00:11:49

But I found that much too challenging and a genuine challenge to challenge things. Yes Johnny will listen. Another point to you and the subject and 41 seconds available a favourite book starting now my favourite book is the novel moving by Jennifer clares. 

00:12:05

Why don't you look up the title. Paul Well all I need say. 

00:12:25

Point down humiliate in self promotion and hesitation Yes. You just said you're able for a favourite to book starting now. 

00:12:33

I suppose when I was younger my favourite books tended to be science fiction novels one the sirens of Titan by Kurt vonnegut junior made an impression on me when I was around the age of 18 or 19. Now days if I think about my favourite books certainly the style of autobiography that's been written over the years. Films. Directors in that John wrote those are always entertaining for me. I like history and if it's about something I know a little bit about Marco's challenge firda sort of unravelled. 

00:12:42

Is the air station and you've got in markers with four seconds to go. And you said you have a favourite book. Starting now to kill a mockingbird is my favourite book. 

00:13:15

I've killed four of them. 

00:13:26

Give us all when again that extra point. And he's one point behind our leader who's our money. He's equal with Paul Merton. They're one ahead of jenea Clear. That's the situation as we go into the next round. Now Murray it's your turn to begin an erudite subject now. 

00:13:34

Christopher Wren tell us something about that gentleman in this game starting now in 16 66 when the Great Fire of London ravaged this city the capital of England. Christopher Wren was taken to one side by his Majesty Charles the second and told sort it. So he. Restored this incredible conurbation with designs drawing on the classical style. Most famously the dome at St. Paul's I guess though the rest of that part of the South. 

00:13:47

Jenny you challenged her hesitation. Yes we interpret that as hesitation. Jenea a point to you and 36 seconds available. 

00:14:17

Christopher Wren starting up there was a boy at my school Chris Brown whose brother was named Barry Rand. Was our favourite when we wanted to play Kiss Chase we'd siphon him off because he was a weak runner in charge of all challenge. 

00:14:25

So he did you so you'd siphon him off. 

00:14:44

The boy I don't think that's what it means. 

00:14:49

Never mind runner. A lot of fun with that so let's get another. 

00:14:56

Challenge. One other point 21 seconds available. 

00:15:03

Christopher Wren starting now we chase him up a blind. 

00:15:05

Marcus journal. Yeah repetition of chase you had to before. Yes. Right. So Marcus you've got in. They're all equal now. Marcus another point to you. 18 second still available Christopher Wren starting now. I don't know a great deal about Christopher Wren but I do challenge. So give it somebody to give you something. 

00:15:11

He masterminded by something very close to nothing but good me good to me. I tell you all about him. Your points on Mastermind especially suddenly Christopher Wren doing so you know but going back to despite this. Because I. Was on the way from Portland to do this show. 

00:15:32

Incorrect challenge. Marcus you have another point. You have 14 seconds Christopher Wren starting now. 

00:15:54

Christopher Rennies very good if you've got indigestion that I am not. Christopher Wren is a small bird not to be confused with Christopher Robin who is friends with Winnie the Pooh. I did warn you I didn't know a great deal. No. 

00:16:00

Insult to. Perpetrating the mistake. Somebody knows something about Nick. 

00:16:15

I'm going to give it to you first time Born in your. And you got to move to see what was going on. Actually just the back cover it. 

00:16:21

Right. Two seconds Paul on Christopher Wren sardi now of a raincoat. Build it I'd rather be. 

00:16:31

Were they there Rand Paul was speaking of a whistle when again that extra point and they're all fact they're all yes. Paul Merton and Mark is brickstarter in equal one ahead of genitalium Now Molly. Right. Jenny it's your turn to begin. And the subject is rearranging the deck chairs. 

00:16:42

60 seconds as usual starting now rearranging the deck chairs is a lousy job especially as the next place you put them is normally buy a rubbish bin in a concrete blocks rounded by wasps and a dead page. What's the point anyway. They always bark your shins and stub your toes and only get your fingers trapped in them. I burn the wretched things. Was the last thing they kept doing on the Titanic of course. How brave those souls were. I'd be down in a bar clearing all the wiping down my road. Might as well we're all gonna die. 

00:16:58

Really it was your germ's issue. She down and down a couple of times but it was just really good. It was getting me down. Shock and deal with any more than it's really bleak and now correct challenge. 29 seconds available. Tell us something about rearranging the deck chairs sardina has Jenny mentioned. They did arrange to Paul Chan meditation as Ginny mentioned. 

00:17:37

Riots. Funny but not. 

00:18:01

Before that. It was a lovely thought but it wasn't a correct outlook should have stayed as a thought really. Right out in great challenge. Rearranging the deck chairs 27 seconds available starting now rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic is of course something people go on about. But what about all the other times deckchairs chairs being rearranged on other. 

00:18:06

Any challenge out and about the issue which is about three times right. Left to go. But for the third one she came in. Jenny 21 seconds still available rearranging the deck chairs. 

00:18:26

Starting now is one of those euphemisms isn't it. For doing something when it's really too late. I'm struggling to think of other alternatives. Sometimes when I look in the mirror it's like putting foundation on and I think well what is the point really. 

00:18:38

Mark chattily repetition of what's the point. What's the point. Yes and read Mark has another point of view and the subject and there are seven seconds available. 

00:18:53

You tell us something about rearranging the deck chairs starting now rearranging the deck chairs really means a futile act like trying to have a sensible discussion with a Daily Express reader. 

00:19:01

Well then that remark has got a point. Speaker has always went. He's one ahead of our money who's one ahead of jenea Clear ample money. It's all very close and we go to Paul. Now somebody is here give it to me straight. 

00:19:17

Dirty laugh in the audience. 

00:19:34

Here's a Jemmy straight as a subject for 60 seconds if you need starting now. 

00:19:36

Sometimes when people go to see the doctor or other medical practitioners and they wait in some verdict or prognoses and you say give it to me straight rather than obfuscate and spit your way around the subject actually saying what it is. Give it to me straight. Humphrey Bogart a pit a the straight talking gangster giving to me Blue Eyes. He said if he sounded anything like that which unfortunately didn't have people that gave it to him straight. When Babe Ruth here was somebody who was a fantastic baseball player in American 1920s he would stand at the plate and hit a massive ball back towards the throw or pitcher as they call it in no particular part of the world. He was somebody to give it to a straight. My mother liked it give me a straight she'd say that's all we've got but absolutely beautiful super baby from the most extraordinary ingredients. I would taste the taste. 

00:19:41

Right you went for 51 say they are in this game is you get anything voyaged executive orders that the audience was they thought it was brilliant good enough. Jenny you challenge first yes. Yes. What was it a straight in straight. 

00:20:38

No it wasn't. 

00:20:54

He's. Enjoying it isn't it. Oh well won't see. Jason tell. Us. 30 seconds when you didn't know though Jenny you have another point. 

00:20:55

Give it to me straight. There are nine seconds that start you know some people can't give it to you straight. 

00:21:12

This isn't their fault. They've got to continue it. 

00:21:17

How can you recognize these spenders. This swimming pool. They come. 

00:21:20

I was speaking to us and when she's moved forward she's even in the lead with Mark as breeks dog. And Marquez it's your turn to begin and there's somebody now is John Lennon. Tell us something about that man in those games starting now. 

00:21:30

John Lennon I think was one of the beetles but I can't be certain. The only way of verifying this is to go to Liverpool and I would wonder whether anybody will remind me if I go up there I think they probably will or I'm not popular when I visit that north western city. I've only told them once and I'm never going back again. That was a magnificent song writer and he was accompanied of course by Paul. 

00:21:42

Paul Channel and slight hesitation yes company. By. Right. So Paul you have another point. You have the subject. There are 33 seconds. You tell us something about John Lennon starting now. 

00:22:11

They used to be a quote attributed to John Lennon they said is Ringo Starr the best drummer in the world and he said he's not even the best drummer in the Beatles. 

00:22:21

MARKUS challenge no repetition of drummer Oh yes petition of drummer. Yes in order to get the laugh you had to leave something. So Mark just say what it actually turned out was a Jasper Carrott joke which people remembered as being a John Lennon quote but it's just a coward. He was a terrific job very good joke Good German. He usually works about the buzzer. 

00:22:30

The audio is run very quiet. Yeah they are just. Doodling. 

00:22:51

So Marcus your challenge. Yes. And you have 25 seconds you'll tell us now about John Lennon starting now. 

00:22:57

John Lennon was most famous for his very small round glasses that are very popular now. 

00:23:04

Our challenge very small round glasses that are very popular too. Yeah. Yes well they're very very popular. 

00:23:10

Very. Another point of you our 19 seconds available. John Lennon starting now. 

00:23:16

Imagine no possessions it's easier if you try. Is no defence in a court of law if you've been caught in John Lewis shouting at the shoppers. 

00:23:21

I was trying to stop a visual image but it was too late. 

00:23:35

But it's a deviation. We are with we haven't got to John Lennon yet. I know we haven't got a John Lennon. You have another point. Ten seconds. 

00:23:39

John Lennon Tati No John Lennon and Paul McCartney met three days before I was born on July the 7th 1950 the year between six and eight just in case it was repetitious but I don't. 

00:23:48

So I think if the whistle went again an extra point and we're going in to the Final Round. At. All let me give you the scores as we go into the final round. Yes it's very evening very close. Paul Merton and Mark has brigstock equal in the lead and they're only one point ahead of Al Murray and Jenny Clare in second place. 

00:24:04

Oh the atmosphere is building and. Building and low base. 

00:24:30

Our subject is going to the dentist 60 seconds. If you needed a sardine. 

00:24:36

Now if I were to be asked by say Nicholas Parsons have I been to the dentist lately then the answer is No. I can't stand it. I'm probably not unique in that respect. The idea of going to the dentist fills me with dread horror dry sweat trickled down my feet and Jamarcus deviation dry sweat doesn't trickle. 

00:24:41

What we call a clever challenge I have to give it to you. Mark us and there are 46 seconds on a variable Mark go into the dentist starting now in an extraordinary twist of fate. 

00:25:04

And this is genuinely true. I went to the dentist today for the first time in 10 years and it was absolutely miserable. They poked about prodded drilled ways and attacked me with various buzzing implements whilst saying words about my teeth that I did not understand. I can tell you that the small robot dog canine is impacted and I do not understand any genuine challenge. 

00:25:15

You do understand twice. Oh yes you understand. So Jenny you got in is you really go to. 

00:25:40

You first time in 10 years and that is so bizarre that I didn't know there were any. No I didn't. Why are you dribbling. 

00:25:47

I'm hoping to be siphoned off later. 

00:25:58

Jenny had a great challenge and she has 19 seconds if she needed. But going to the dentist. 

00:26:04

Start you know all dental appointment should be made for 230. This is the rule of jokes. I actually went to the dentist only the other week because I bit down hard on an apple. 

00:26:10

Guess what. 

00:26:22

Crown fell out had to have the tooth refiled. Awful agony. Although I have the sweetest dentist and he. 

00:26:23

Getting clear. I was speaking as a whistle went gain that extra point. It only remains for me to give you the final score. Our Murray and Paul Merton are equal. Only one point behind Jenny Clare and Marcus brigstocke who are equal in the lead so we can see the joy with us this way. Thank you. For fi fine players in the game. Paul Merton Jenny clear markers brigstocke and our money. I think he'll leave Stirling who's helping with the score and blown her whistle so well. We're indebted to our producer Matt strong. We are deeply indebted to in messiter who created this amazing game and were indebted to this lovely audience. Yeah so from the audience from you it was berzins and the team. Thank you. In Again the same time when we play just some. 

00:26:37

Just admit it is a BBC studios production and you can download just a minute and take it with you wherever you roam in the BBC. I play a radio. 

Not so shabby, I guess.

--

To find out how to open the The New Jam Jar visit b9fx.com

Mark