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Re: Awarding Bonus Points

Messages in this topic: 7 View All
lapsedcatMar 3, 2008
 

 
Quote Unquote goes like this:

Twee intro tune over which are included recordings of Goon
Show/Python/ITMA/Round The Horne catchphrases.

Nigel Rees, with counterfeit jollity, introduces the panellists:
there will be a novelist of whom few have heard, let alone read any
of her books; a wit (not a comic - we're talking the likes of the
late Miles Kington here); a BBC radio personality (Jenny Murray
usually) and a print journalist of the (dubious) calibre of Simon
Heffer.

There will be various rounds, which are indistinguishable from each
other, in which the plummy tones of someone who sounds very much like
Bill Franklyn will give life to increasingly hackneyed quotations
attributed to the usual suspects (Churchill, Byron, Mark Twain,
Shakespeare, Dorothy Parker). Each panellist will have to identify
the quotation and trot out some tired anecdote related - however
tenuously - to said quotation.

I'm reliably informed that a man in a mustard-coloured overcoat goes
around the studio audience with an electric cattle-prod and
encourages them to clap in the right places, or at least titter
politely when The Wit says something mildly humourous.

AT NO TIME must any of the panellists question the general
pointlessness of the exercise or raise doubts over Rees's suitability
as a chairman.

The programme ends on a muted note with Rees inviting the listeners
to tune in again next week, and presumably goes home after the
recording to muse on the quotation "money for old rope".




--- In just-a-minute@..., Robert Torres
<bobbyshaddoe3004@...> wrote:

>
> ah yes, I tried listening to 'Quote Unquote' once because Brian

Sewell was on the panel once, it was the most godawfully boring panel
show in the world.

>
> antster1983 <antster@...> wrote: Nigel Rees is the person

who hosts the much-maligned "Quote...

> Unquote", many a time a target for Just A Minute or the Clue
> panellists. :o)
>
> Ant
>
> --- In just-a-minute@..., Robert Torres
> <bobbyshaddoe3004@> wrote:
> >
> > that is true. of course I wish I knew who Nigel Rees was though.
> you're certainly correct in labeling him a 'sufficient' straight

man,

> but only just. because something else that gets up my nose are the
> moments when someone has a real go at him because of some verbal

slip

> that he made or when he's talking and someone uses his own words
> against him in a marvelous put down, he'll try and deflect the

insult

> by pretty much stating that he set himself up for it deliberately,
> saying things like 'oh I do give them marvelous cues, don't I.'
> >
> >
> >
> > lapsedcat <lapsedcat@> wrote:
> > While I agree with much of what you say, Robert, I think
> that JAM
> > needs a chairman like NP. I couldn't imagine it chaired by

Humphrey

> > Lyttleton for example, as the secret of his success on Clue is
> > largely down to playing the "old curmudgeon"-card and simulating
> > naivity over the double-entendres. He would be competing too much
> > against the panellists on JAM for the audience laughs, whereas
> > Parsons is not in himself amusing enough to outshine the players.
> > He's a sufficient straight-man. Anyway, who would be the
> altrnative?
> > Nigel effing Rees?
> >
> > --- In just-a-minute@..., "Robert L. Torres"
> > <bobbyshaddoe3004@> wrote:
> > >
> > > This is something that I feel is close to my heart, being a fan
> of
> > > the series, and listening to it grow and evolve over the years,
> and
> > > going through episodes from the late 60's to today, and the one
> > thing
> > > that has both amused me and also irritated me are those

occasions

> > > when Nicholas awards people bonus points.
> > >
> > > This would be something he rarely did during the early years of
> the
> > > show, and even then it would be very rare occasions indeed. but
> > > those occasions usually entailed a clever interpretation of the
> > > challenges on the violation of the rules or for making a very
> > amusing
> > > comment. But during those early days, there would be plent y of
> > > people that would make those sorts of clever challenges or
> humorous
> > > interruptions, and wouldn't receive a thing, except a lot of
> stick
> > > from Schoolmaster Nick, who couldn't see past the rules to
> > appreciate
> > > the contribution. During those occasions, no points would be
> > awarded
> > > at all, which very often got on my nerves, especially since he
> > would
> > > later say that its the contribution that matters, the points

are

> > > secondary, and yet would make this entire display about how
> someone
> > > can speak for 58 seconds, not get any points, and someone
> > interrupts
> > > them and they are the ones who get the bloody points.
> > >
> > > as the series progressed, it seemed like he would dole out

bonus

> > > points to those who deserved them, sometimes they'd be given to
> > > people who never deserved them.
> > >
> > > Then there came a point where he would give bonus points for
> > amusing
> > > joke challenges or for just the overall sense of amusing the
> > audience
> > > as a whole.
> > >
> > > but, nowadays, the whole notion of awarding bonus points has
> > reached
> > > a level of complete and utter ludicrousness. this can be traced
> > back
> > > to an episode from 2004 or 2005, I think the panelists were

Linda

> > > Smith, Tim Rice, Tony Hawks and Chris Neil. Chris began to
> develop
> > a
> > > niche for himself, by which he was able to garner loads of

bonus

> > > points for his joke challenges, since he pretty much admitted
> that
> > > he'd never be able to get any points for actually talking on

the

> > > subject.
> > >
> > > then something happens at one point to which Tim challenges
> > someone,
> > > I forget who, he makes a humorous comment, then asks
> > Nicholas: 'Bonus
> > > point?' and he gets one. But here's the bit that really irks

me,

> > by
> > > Nicholas' own admission, he gave Tim the bonus point NOT for

his

> > > challenge, but for the fact that he said 'bonus point'.
> > >
> > > In another episode he gave Graham Norton a point for 'having a
> > face',
> > > in another show he gave a bonus point to Pauline McLynn because
> > > he 'felt sorry for her'.
> > >
> > > and this is just something that really gets up my nose, because
> it
> > > seems like you don't even need to be clever or amusing to get
> bonus
> > > points anymore. It seems like nowadays all you have to do is
> > sneeze
> > > and you get a bonus point. meanwhile the panelists on the show
> > bust
> > > their asses actually being funny, clever and amusing don't get
> any
> > > bonus points, because Nicholas is 'resisting the temptation' or
> > that
> > > he 'can't afford to give anymore bonus points', like he's on

some

> > > sort of budget.
> > >
> > > And the way he even says it, that he 'can't' give someone

anymore

> > > bonus points, I mean come on. Is someone holding a gun to his
> head
> > > saying, 'if you give out any more bonus points I'll blow your
> > brains
> > > out?'
> > >
> > > its part of the reason why I think there should be another
> regular
> > > pisstaker on the show to point these things out. Peter Jones

was

> a
> > > master of this, because it pointed out all of Nicholas'
> > > inconsistencies and even the way he would say things. Linda

Smith

> > > was fantastic at this as well, even Rob Brydon during his brief
> > > stint.
> > >
> > > I know if I were on the show I'd interrupt during each round by
> > > making up something incongrous like 'I've got cancer, gimme a
> bonus
> > > point' 'My mother passed away, gimme a bonus point' 'I had
> Chinese
> > > takeaway last night, gimme a bonus point', and so on.
> > >
> > > even people who try to be clever on the program nowadays aren't
> > > recognized for their cleverness, why? Because Nicholas has to
> > > be 'fair within the rules of the game'.
> > >
> > > THe man would rather be fair to a set of abstract concepts than
> to
> > > actual flesh and blood human beings. that's the sort of

chairman

> > > this show has.
> > >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------
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