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Topic: best putdowns

Message 1 / 6
Dean BedfordMar 20, 2008
 

 
JAM is a show full of great insults and putdowns. So how about listing
some of your favourites.

I enjoyed some of them on this list of great TV putdowns compiled by
Radio Times magazine last month.

# Basil Fawlty - Fawlty Towers. To Sybil: "Oh dear, what happened? Did
you get entangled in the eiderdown again? Not enough cream in your
eclair? Hmm? Or did you have to talk to all your friends for so long
that you didn't have time to perm your ears?"
# Mrs Merton - The Mrs Merton Show. To Debbie McGee: "So what first
attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?"
# Edmund Blackadder - Blackadder II. To Lord Percy: "The eyes are open,
the mouth moves, but Mr Brain has long since departed, hasn't he, Percy?"
# Roseanne Conner - Roseanne. To husband Dan: "Your idea of romance is
popping the can away from my face."
# Father Jack Hackett - Father Ted. "Drink! Feck! Arse! Girls!"
# Carla - Cheers. Cliff: "I'm ashamed God made me a man." Carla: "I
don't think God's doing a lot of bragging about it either."
# Patsy Stone - Absolutely Fabulous. "One more facelift on this one and
she'll have a beard."
# Jim Royle - The Royle Family. Nana: "Is this hat too far forward?"
Jim: "No. We can still see your face."
# Malcolm Tucker - The Thick Of It. To a junior minister: "All these
hands all over the place! You were like a sweaty octopus trying to
unhook a bra! It was like watching John Leslie at work!"
# Statler and Waldorf - The Muppet Show. Statler: "Wake up, you old
fool, you slept through the show." Waldorf: "Who's a fool? You watched
it."
# Inspector Monkfish - The Fast Show. To a bereaved woman: "I realise
this must be a very difficult time for you, so put your knickers on and
go and make me a cup of tea."
# No Offence - The Fast Show. "I notice you're not wearing a wedding
ring which, given your age, means you're divorced or a lesbian."
# Rupert Rigsby - Rising Damp. To lodger Alan, who complains his room is
too cold to study in: "The only thing you study is your navel. You even
shave lying down."
# Nan - The Catherine Tate Show. Describing an encounter with an
overweight hospital volunteer: "She said to me last time, 'You look
bored, Mrs Taylor. I've got three words for you: Barbara Taylor
Bradford.' So I said, 'Yeah? I've got three words for you too: calorie
controlled diet."'
# The Professor - The Mary Whitehouse Experience. "I have here a copy of
your book, Origins of the Crimean War. It smells of poo." "That's
because it's been inside your mum's bra."
# Alf Garnett - Till Death Us Do Part. "You Scouse git!"
# Alexis Carrington - Dynasty. "I'm glad to see your father had your
teeth fixed - if not your mouth."
# JR Ewing - Dallas. "Ray never was comfortable eating with the family -
we do use knives and forks."
# Dr Perry Cox - Scrubs. Dr Elliot Reid: "I don't think you understand
the severity of the situation here. I am dangerously close to giving up
men altogether." Dr Cox: "Then on behalf of men everywhere - and I do
mean everywhere, including the ones in little mud huts - let me be the
first to say thanks and hallelujah."
# Dr Gregory House - House. "You can think I'm wrong, but that's no
reason to stop thinking."
# Gary Strang - Men Behaving Badly. "Let's face it, Tony, the only way
you're gonna be in there is if you're both marooned on a desert island
and she eats a poisonous berry or a nut which makes her temporarily
deaf, dumb, stupid, forgetful and desperate for sex."
# Arnold Rimmer - Red Dwarf. "Look, we all have something to bring to
this discussion. But I think from now on the thing you should bring is
silence."
# Larry David - Curb Your Enthusiasm. "Switzerland is a place where they
don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them
while they ski and eat chocolate."
# Sam Tyler - Life On Mars. To Gene Hunt: "I think you've forgotten who
you're talking to." Sam: "An overweight, over-the-hill,
nicotine-stained, borderline-alcoholic homophobe with a superiority
complex and an unhealthy obsession with male bonding?"
# Captain Mainwaring - Dad's Army. "You stupid boy!"

 
<<<<   2071   >>>>

Topic: Re: best putdowns

Message 2 / 6
Robert TorresMar 20, 2008
 

 
ooh, this is gonna be hard, because it may just turn into a Feast of Nicholas, when one considers that many of the best putdowns on JAM have been aimed squarely at Nicholas Parsons. 

Dean Bedford <dbedford@...> wrote:

JAM is a show full of great insults and putdowns. So how about listing
some of your favourites.

I enjoyed some of them on this list of great TV putdowns compiled by
Radio Times magazine last month.

# Basil Fawlty - Fawlty Towers. To Sybil: "Oh dear, what happened? Did
you get entangled in the eiderdown again? Not enough cream in your
eclair? Hmm? Or did you have to talk to all your friends for so long
that you didn't have time to perm your ears?"
# Mrs Merton - The Mrs Merton Show. To Debbie McGee: "So what first
attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?"
# Edmund Blackadder - Blackadder II. To Lord Percy: "The eyes are open,
the mouth moves, but Mr Brain has long since departed, hasn't he, Percy?"
# Roseanne Conner - Roseanne. To husband Dan: "Your idea of romance is
popping the can away from my face."
# Father Jack Hackett - Father Ted. "Drink! Feck! Arse! Girls!"
# Carla - Cheers. Cliff: "I'm ashamed God made me a man." Carla: "I
don't think God's doing a lot of bragging about it either."
# Patsy Stone - Absolutely Fabulous. "One more facelift on this one and
she'll have a beard."
# Jim Royle - The Royle Family. Nana: "Is this hat too far forward?"
Jim: "No. We can still see your face."
# Malcolm Tucker - The Thick Of It. To a junior minister: "All these
hands all over the place! You were like a sweaty octopus trying to
unhook a bra! It was like watching John Leslie at work!"
# Statler and Waldorf - The Muppet Show. Statler: "Wake up, you old
fool, you slept through the show." Waldorf: "Who's a fool? You watched
it."
# Inspector Monkfish - The Fast Show. To a bereaved woman: "I realise
this must be a very difficult time for you, so put your knickers on and
go and make me a cup of tea."
# No Offence - The Fast Show. "I notice you're not wearing a wedding
ring which, given your age, means you're divorced or a lesbian."
# Rupert Rigsby - Rising Damp. To lodger Alan, who complains his room is
too cold to study in: "The only thing you study is your navel. You even
shave lying down."
# Nan - The Catherine Tate Show. Describing an encounter with an
overweight hospital volunteer: "She said to me last time, 'You look
bored, Mrs Taylor. I've got three words for you: Barbara Taylor
Bradford.' So I said, 'Yeah? I've got three words for you too: calorie
controlled diet."'
# The Professor - The Mary Whitehouse Experience. "I have here a copy of
your book, Origins of the Crimean War. It smells of poo." "That's
because it's been inside your mum's bra."
# Alf Garnett - Till Death Us Do Part. "You Scouse git!"
# Alexis Carrington - Dynasty. "I'm glad to see your father had your
teeth fixed - if not your mouth."
# JR Ewing - Dallas. "Ray never was comfortable eating with the family -
we do use knives and forks."
# Dr Perry Cox - Scrubs. Dr Elliot Reid: "I don't think you understand
the severity of the situation here. I am dangerously close to giving up
men altogether." Dr Cox: "Then on behalf of men everywhere - and I do
mean everywhere, including the ones in little mud huts - let me be the
first to say thanks and hallelujah."
# Dr Gregory House - House. "You can think I'm wrong, but that's no
reason to stop thinking."
# Gary Strang - Men Behaving Badly. "Let's face it, Tony, the only way
you're gonna be in there is if you're both marooned on a desert island
and she eats a poisonous berry or a nut which makes her temporarily
deaf, dumb, stupid, forgetful and desperate for sex."
# Arnold Rimmer - Red Dwarf. "Look, we all have something to bring to
this discussion. But I think from now on the thing you should bring is
silence."
# Larry David - Curb Your Enthusiasm. "Switzerland is a place where they
don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them
while they ski and eat chocolate."
# Sam Tyler - Life On Mars. To Gene Hunt: "I think you've forgotten who
you're talking to." Sam: "An overweight, over-the-hill,
nicotine-stained, borderline-alcoholi c homophobe with a superiority
complex and an unhealthy obsession with male bonding?"
# Captain Mainwaring - Dad's Army. "You stupid boy!"

---

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<<<<   2072   >>>>

Topic: Re: best putdowns

Message 3 / 6
jon.burton23Mar 20, 2008
 

 
Dean:

> JAM is a show full of great insults and putdowns. So how about
> listing some of your favourites.

My favourite is a classic Peter Jones line. It was quite late on in
his JAM career, and he challenged for repeating the subject on the
card. Nicholas snapped at him "I know you've only been playing the
game 25 years, but sometimes things do slip your memory, I realise."
and there was a beat and Peter said "Thank God it's merciful in that way!"


Jon

 
<<<<   2074   >>>>

Topic: Re: best putdowns

Message 4 / 6
Robert TorresMar 20, 2008
 

 

Dean:
> JAM is a show full of great insults and putdowns. So how about
> listing some of your favourites.

My favourite is a classic Peter Jones line. It was quite late on in
his JAM career, and he challenged for repeating the subject on the
card. Nicholas snapped at him "I know you've only been playing the
game 25 years, but sometimes things do slip your memory, I realise."
and there was a beat and Peter said "Thank God it's merciful in that way!"

Jon

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<<<<   2079   >>>>

Topic: Re: best putdowns

Message 5 / 6
BikerDonMar 20, 2008
 

 

Cheers

 

Don    __o
      -\<,
..... O/ O

 

 

----- Original Message -----

From: Robert Torres

To: just-a-minute@...

Sent: Thursday, March 20, 2008 6:05 PM

Subject: Re: [just-a-minute] Re: best putdowns

I wouldn't exactly call Peter's reply a putdown, more a self-deprecatory line.

I do believe it was in that same episode or a similar episode when something had happened, I can't recall what, but Nicholas couldn't remember what was going on and was awarding the subject to the wrong person, he gets pulled up for it, and Peter replies, 'You were the one that said that MY memory was slipping!'

"jon.burton23" <jon.burton23@ yahoo.com> wrote:

Dean:
> JAM is a show full of great insults and putdowns. So how about
> listing some of your favourites.

My favourite is a classic Peter Jones line. It was quite late on in
his JAM career, and he challenged for repeating the subject on the
card. Nicholas snapped at him "I know you've only been playing the
game 25 years, but sometimes things do slip your memory, I realise."
and there was a beat and Peter said "Thank God it's merciful in that way!"

Jon

---

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<<<<   2081   >>>>

Topic: Re: best putdowns

Message 6 / 6
Robert TorresMar 20, 2008
 

 
To be honest, that's not the impression I got.  but then again, I tend to pick up on certain things in some situations better than most.  as Nicholas would often put it, he didn't convey to me that was what he was going on about.

BikerDon <don@...> wrote:

Not at all, I would disagree, I think it IS a put-down - he's putting the program down

by saying it is a good thing he can't remember the 25 years of having to suffer it.

Cheers

 

Don    __o
      -\<,
..... O/ O

 

 

----- Original Message -----

From: Robert Torres

To: just-a-minute@ yahoogroups. com

Sent: Thursday, March 20, 2008 6:05 PM

Subject: Re: [just-a-minute] Re: best putdowns

I wouldn't exactly call Peter's reply a putdown, more a self-deprecatory line.

I do believe it was in that same episode or a similar episode when something had happened, I can't recall what, but Nicholas couldn't remember what was going on and was awarding the subject to the wrong person, he gets pulled up for it, and Peter replies, 'You were the one that said that MY memory was slipping!'

"jon.burton23" <jon.burton23@ yahoo.com> wrote:

Dean:
> JAM is a show full of great insults and putdowns. So how about
> listing some of your favourites.

My favourite is a classic Peter Jones line. It was quite late on in
his JAM career, and he challenged for repeating the subject on the
card. Nicholas snapped at him "I know you've only been playing the
game 25 years, but sometimes things do slip your memory, I realise."
and there was a beat and Peter said "Thank God it's merciful in that way!"

Jon

---

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